The Cat's (Almost) Outta the Bag

One of the qualities that my husband and I have in common is that when we both have news--good or bad--we can't help but share it with our loved ones. I have, so far, told 3 of my closest friends who are practically like sisters, and a friend who's like a brother to me. My husband didn't want to tell anyone until we were further along, but like me, he needed to tell someone. He called his sister and his dad to tell the the good news.

We're still not making it public since it's so early. And although I'm only 5 weeks along, I'm already having symptoms. The fatigue lays me flat out, and my boobs feel tender 24/7. Knock on wood, I don't have morning sickness.

I still remember being overwhelmingly nauseated with my second pregnancy. I couldn't stand the smell of meat cooking! Every time I walked by Chipotle and Buckhorn Grille, I had to hold my breath. One whiff of seared meat made my stomach turn. So I ate salad. Lots and lots and lots of salad. I couldn't get enough of the stuff. That is, until my body decided that it didn't like salad any more either. I couldn't even look at salad without turning green (pun intended). I remember going to lunch at Mimi's Cafe, and there was nothing on the menu I wanted. I tried to push through and ordered something, but I requested that the server hold the salad. The salad came out anyway, and all of my senses were assaulted just by looking at it. I wanted to hurl right at the table. I had to put up a menu in front of me and the salad just so I didn't have to look at it. 

I'm hoping I don't get that kind of morning sickness. 

I'm writing all this down more to process everything that I'm going through. Many people don't get to  or have not yet experienced the joys, the adjustments, and the transformations that happen with pregnancy. Someone once told that it all goes by so fast, and it's so true! I remember both my babies growing inside of me and watching my body change (sausage toes, cankles, amazon boobs, big 'ol nose, water retention, bloating, stretch marks, and cravings). I even have pictures that show the transformation, but I never committed my experience to written form. Besides, it all seems like a lifetime ago. And although the pictures themselves document the transformation and tell their own story, I'd like to give this baby (and my husband and children) a glimpse into my life before he/she is born. My thoughts, my worries, and all the experiences leading up to its birth. As with both my children, I want this baby to know that it was loved from the beginning, and we welcome it with all our hearts.

So much to plan for!

After telling my husband last night of the exciting news, I got all of 4 hours and 51 minutes of sleep before my bladder woke me up. It's already starting. I couldn't get back to sleep after I went to the bathroom. I  looked sleepily browsed through Facebook, and then I began entertaining baby names for girls and boys. The great thing about our last name is that practically any name goes with it.

After entertaining baby names, I researched ObGyn's in my area. We elected a much less expensive health insurance (hard to believe, eh?) for 2015, so I wanted to ensure that there would be a seamless transition of insurances when establishing with my Ob. I wanted to stay within the network so my PCP and Ob could "communicate" with one another, and my current Ob, who also seems to be very busy, is contracted with a different hospital network. Granted, that network also accepts our current and new health insurance for 2015, but I'd like for my medical records to be easily accessible in the event any complications arise.

I called an ObGyn within my network first thing this morning, and we have our first ultrasound on January 20th! Hooray! I also scheduled an appointment today to confirm that I read my test accurately. I provided another urine sample, and I was congratulated by just about everyone in the office after the test result confirmed, yet again, I'm pregnant!

I ran a few errands after my appointment. The first order of business was to purchase prenatal vitamins. I messaged my naturopathic doctor to see if she could recommend a specific supplement, but she hasn't responded--probably due to the holidays. I decided on Rainbow Light Prenatal One. Other prenatal vitamins make you take 2-3 tablets a day, but that's just not for me.

I had to stop at Costco to pick up a couple of items I ordered from their Photo Center. (Note to self: If you order personalized photo items from Costco to gift for Christmas, place your order by November 1st). I then walked aimlessly around the massive warehouse, tried a few of their samples, and walked by the diaper section. I asked myself, "Will I use cloth diapers for this baby, or will we use disposable?" After all, I cloth diapered my first child and did a combination of both for my second. I'm a stay-at-home mom now, so it's not like cloth diapering would be difficult. Although lately it seems like the amount of laundry I do is nonstop! I began thinking about cloth diapers and Fuzzibunz and how expensive they are, but it would be lovely to use AIO (All-In-One) diapers instead of the flat cloth diapers I previously used.

My preferred brand of disposable diapers is Huggies. As I walked past the stacks of different-sized diapers, I also looked for the Huggies brand Natural Care wipes and couldn't really picture my husband changing a dirty diaper. The thought of him getting grossed out by a poopy diaper definitely provided a fleeting moment of amusement.

This morning we talked about eventually getting a different car to accommodate a family of five, those laboriously awkward but extremely safe infant carseats, and a stroller. The battery of my current car, a Ford Fusion, that gets an average of 45 mpg (now that's sexy!), takes up most of the trunk space. There's no way you could fit a full-size stroller in that! I love my car, and I love the amount of gas mileage it gets, but I think I would struggle not being able to push my baby in a stroller.

My biggest worry though is that I won't get a baby shower. I know. It sounds totally lame. But I don't really talk to my siblings anymore, all of our friends live a couple of hours away, and I live in a small commuter city where it's difficult to get to know people. It's not like we need a lot (but we do). But it would just be nice to have a baby celebration. I already have dibs on my best friend's kids' hand-me-downs.

Speaking of clothes, my body's changing already. My midsection seems to be settling right into this pregnancy (after having lost almost 20 pounds in the last 6 months). I'm going to need maternity clothes really fast. I can feel it! But the reason, I suppose, is totally worth it!

The Surprise Christmas Gift

My husband had to work on Christmas Day. He left for work about 1:30pm, so we were all able to celebrate Christmas together in the morning. I woke up with my boobs still really tender, as they had been for the last few days. My husband and I both thought it was just PMS; after all, I had been really irritable for the last week before my period was supposed to start. And the entire family always braces themselves for my irritability until I'm on the rag.

I was on Day 33 of my cycle. My cycle has gone to Day 31 but never Day 33 (without being pregnant of course). The kids and I lazed around after my husband went to work on Christmas Day, and it occurred to me while I sat there reading Book 2 of Ken Follett's Century Trilogy, Winter of the World: 

No period (Past Day 31) + Tender Boobs = ept

I had an extra one buried somewhere in the baskets filled with toiletries under my sink. I had taken a pregnancy test once or twice throughout our relationship, when my cycle got to Day 31 and Aunt Flow still had not come to visit. The tests, of course, to my relief (and disappointment) came out negative. 

Disappointment because I love babies! I love the way they smell, I love the way they cry, I love their toothless smiles, I love their laugh, I love all the cute baby clothes, I love how innocent and adorable and vulnerable and babyfull they are! But my overall response was usually relief because my husband and I were content with my two children from my previous marriage, now 10 and 6.

I've only had 3 positive pregnancy tests in my life. The first one was in 2004, the next one was in 2007, and the next one would be on Christmas Day, 2014. That + sign just glared at me! Was it true? I was in disbelief. Shocked, really. But the evidence was staring me right in the face, and I couldn't deny it anymore. I realized that my body was trying to tell me the whole week. My bowel movements were irregular (your digestion slows down so the body can absorb nutrients to support the baby), my boobs were tender to the touch (elevated hormones), and the unmistakable missed period (sperm + egg + implantation = baby!). (See: Early Signs of Pregnancy)

The only problem was, I had to wait a whole eleven hours for my husband to come home! Aaaaargh! I had to tell someone! So I called my best friend, Robin. I always call her in a crisis. I call her to give her good new too. When she doesn't answer, I totally understand. She works full-time and supports a family of 7! This includes two growing tweens and three children ages 5 and under. But today, I would not understand if she did not answer her phone! This was a combination of good news and a crisis! And I would go crazy if I couldn't talk to anyone. She initially did not answer (the first frantic 5 times I tried calling and got her voicemail), but after calling her husband's cell phone, she called me back on her phone. No. She wasn't avoiding me. She just didn't hear her phone.

Whenever I have any news at all, I usually tell my husband first. But I didn't want to tell him over the phone. Robin and I agreed that it would be best to tell him in person. I decided to fold up a baby blanket and created a pocket into which the pregnancy test would be inserted. I placed it in a box and wrapped it in Christmas paper. The label said, "To My Husband, From Your Wife."

The kids and I went to an 8:10pm showing of Annie, so we were home just a little before my husband got home. We got the kids to bed, and I presented his gift to him in the bedroom. He was pleasantly surprised. He was very eager to open his gift, and he shook the box after he unwrapped it. When he opened the box, he saw the blanket, and then found the test. He pulled it out and looked at the results.

"Are you pregnant?" he asked, bewildered.

"Yes," I smiled and nodded reluctantly.

"Are you serious or are you just messing with me?"

"I'm not messing with you. I'm pregnant. You're going to be a daddy," I said.

I waited and watched for his response carefully. And then there it was. He smiled. And I was relieved.

Although we had both resigned ourselves to not having children of our own together, we knew the possibility existed as we used the rhythm method as our most natural form of birth control. It worked for the past four and half years, but we were always prepared to accept the possibility that we would one day make a baby. Our plan was to get the kids to college, he would retire, and we would travel the world. So you can imagine my relief when he responded favorably to the fact that his last Christmas gift  of this year was the baby growing inside me. I didn't think it was possible, but I fell more in love with my husband in the last 12 hours than I ever have been. It could be hormones, or maybe it's just that I am  blissfully happy at the prospect of having a baby with the Love of my Life.

We will be welcoming Baby G. in August 2015.