Pregnancy Brain

My husband called his work to go in a half hour later than he was expected. The reason? Another crying fit came on. I was laying in bed after breakfast because the morning sickness kicked in. The weather the last couple of days has been so beautiful--cool and sunny--but I couldn't take advantage of exercising outdoors or anything because I've been nauseated, fatigued, or both.

The crying fit came on just as my husband was about to leave for work. I tried to hold back the tears, but they just came gushing out along with the sad, wimpery sobs. He kissed me good-bye, apologizing that he couldn't stay, and I understood, but I still felt miserable. I lay in bed crying for a couple more minutes, and then I got up to go pee. I cried while peeing too. I was a blubbering mess. As I came out of the bathroom, to my surprise, my husband was there, and he told me that he could stay for a half an hour. 

We laid together in bed, and he let me cry. He soothed me and comforted me, and made me feel so loved. He held me close. He made me laugh too. He said that it's just like when we argue. He's the only man in my life whose ever stood up to me, so it's no wonder that his offspring would do the same to me in my womb. By the time he left, I had stopped crying. 

My daughters are at their dad's house for the weekend. I woke up this morning not knowing what day it was. I wondered if the kids were up yet, and I realized that they weren't home. I miss them when they're gone. And I know that having this baby will not make me miss them any less. I feel complete when my children and my husband are together as a family. 

I spent the majority of my day in bed--sick, of course. I took a 2 hour nap, and I woke up sick. I did manage to get dressed and leave the house to get a bowl of Pho (Vietnamese soup), and I also cooked Jeff and I breakfast this morning (bacon, scrambled eggs, and fresh guacamole). I played with my new phone (we just upgraded our phones to the Note 4), and playing with all the features is a welcome distraction from my own discomfort. 

We had our first ultrasound this last week. It was amazing. Our baby was doing a little dance, wiggling its little arms and legs. It was adorable! Seeing the ultrasound was a very real experience for my husband, a first-time father. I think he felt that sensation that only parents feel when they see their child for the first time. That overwhelming sense of love and the need to protect the child (and the vessel in which their growing) washes over you, and you know that this child belongs to you, and you feel responsible for giving it the best that you can offer.

I have pregnancy brain. I'm forgetting words. I can't remember the topic we were just discussing. And my thoughts are totally random. Kind of like this post. I have no….(of course, I can't think of the word right now……direction for anything right now, except to take one day at a time. Although I feel like a useless sac most of the time due to the morning sickness, I have to remember one very important fact:

I AM GROWING A BABY 24 HOURS A DAY! 

In the end, it will all be worth it.